While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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