Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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