I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
