sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
