i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
