Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
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She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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