you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
