38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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