you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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