Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
