you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize