just come out here and I will go home with you...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We left an ass print on the piano.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
