My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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