Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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