So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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