gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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