sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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