The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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