I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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