I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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