He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize