i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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