If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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