Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
