On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
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