God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
