So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
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