If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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