He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize