I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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