I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
