tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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