i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
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He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
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Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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