That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
