i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
