Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize