I want to stick my p in your. b.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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