Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
we should paint friendship bongs
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
