i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
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Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
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It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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