Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
