This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
