He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
