You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
whose ass print is on the piano?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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