it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
