Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
