Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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