I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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