There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
