Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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