what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
