Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
