May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
