his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
