Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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