I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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