I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
