lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
