Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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