In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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