ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize