apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
