I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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