This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
