A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
if only i could text you this smell
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
