you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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