Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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