I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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